Being a parent is one of the most difficult jobs in the world. It’s a thankless job most of the time where you never really get a day off, because even when you’re not with your kids, you’re thinking about them.
Parents are forced to make decisions they don’t want to make. Decisions that can change everything, and everyone has their two cents to add to it, me included of course.
The decisions and pressure start before the baby is even born. You have to choose breast, bottle, or both; stay at home or go back to work; disposable or cloth; jarred or hand mashed mush; home school, public school, or private school; vegetarian, vegan, low-carb, no-carb; and the list goes on. While all of these things are important and help to shape our children into the adults they will become, there are so many other things that occur in the day to day of life that we don’t even seem to consider sometimes.
I’m not talking about the big things like no TV, plastic toys, or things with batteries. I’m talking about whether we let them have choices or an opinion. Whether we let them make mistakes and fall down. To me, these are the important lessons in life.
My girls have opinions, about everything, and I do mean everything. If you were discussing a full-throated-V8 or a V6, they’d tell you to pick the one that is louder and faster, meaning the V8. Some people find this annoying, I find it endearing, well, most of the time. I don’t believe that children should only speak when spoken to. A child who can’t ask questions because they have to wait for an adult to start a conversation with them isn’t going to learn as much as a child who can ask questions all the live long day. Or at least until we scream, ” enough already I think my head is going to explode!”
If you say a “bad” word in front of my girls, they’ll let you know. They’ll tell you if they think you’re being mean or unfair. They’ll ask you why you limp, are in a cast, have to use a wheelchair, or any other thing that could possibly embarrass a parent in public. To me, this is a good thing and it makes me proud.
It gives me an opportunity to teach them tact, timing, and manners. Sometimes they’ll get an answer right away. Sometimes, I tell them that their question is rude, and why. It’s a learning experience for everyone involved.
I hope and pray that I’m teaching my girls the right things. Things like:
not being afraid to have an opinion
knowing when to keep their opinions to themselves
standing up for what they believe in or think is right, fair, and just
standing up for themselves or others without putting others down
being true to themselves
having pride in what they do
being humble (we’re working really hard on this one right now)
There are more but I’m sure you get my point.
More important than why they don’t eat something, is why they don’t like it, and letting that be ok. Letting them have an opinion and be able to voice it without fear of repercussion is important. While my girls like most vegetables, one doesn’t like green beans the other broccoli. At dinner I make both, and they eat at least one piece (hopefully two) of the vegetable they don’t like. They are not allowed to complain about dinner, but every once in a while I make a “let’s not have it again” for dinner. This is code for, “this is horrible, but I’m not going to be rude and say that it’s gross and I don’t think that the dog would even eat it.”
So, please don’t be offended if we’re at your house for dinner and you see one, or quite possibly both, of my girls whisper in my ear and then stop eating. If it’s something I can avoid serving them I will. If it’s something new I’ll make sure they give it an honest taste, but if they don’t like it, oh well, it’s not the end of the world. If you’re at my house I’ll extend the same courtesy to you and yours.
DeeJay says:
There ya go!
August 21st, 2008 at 5:11 am
mamalang says:
Amen. We also have try me bites, even if you’ve tried it before. I even require the grandparents to take try me bites if they come over. Sometimes, my answer is because I said so…such is life. But they can still ask.
August 22nd, 2008 at 4:37 pm
One Scrappy Gal says:
I’m making my kids try two bites of the things they claim they don’t like too. If, after having tried it, they STILL don’t want it, I’m not pushing them to eat it all. I’m not going to be a “clean plate” nazi. I want them to eat until they are full, and to listen to their bodies.
My little girl is very inquisitive and asks all the same questions too. I, too, use it as an opportunity to teach her. “We do not yell “WHY IS THAT WOMAN SO FAT” across the store!
August 31st, 2008 at 4:58 am