Here I sit in the mostly dark living room.

The girls are watching movies and trying to stay awake to bring in the New Year. I’m pretty sure they’ll make it, and if they don’t I’ll tell them they did.

There’s nothing better than ringing in the new year surrounded by family.

While it’s true that my Husand and FIL are somewhere in Oklahoma, my MIL is across town, my SIL and family are at the beach, and my parents, brother and Gram are all in the High Desert, they’re all here with me.

They’re in my heart and in my memories. I know most people spend tonight making resolutions for the new year about changing for the better. Not me. I mean, I know I could do with a few changes, but a resolution isn’t going to help me to make them.

I’m using tonight as a time of reflection. A time to remember the parties from the past with my parents and neighbors. Parties that lasted well past midnight. Parties where the music was loud, the beer ran freely, and everyone (except us kids) was at least a little drunk. I remember these times and smile.

Those times are so different from my new years of the last 11 years, but they aren’t any better. The last 11 years have mostly been quiet new years. I think my first NYE with Shawn we stayed up until midnight and played Monopoly. I fell asleep with his hand on my belly, I was 19 and four months pregnant with Rapunzel.

I remember new years six years ago. We were all so sick our vacation was extended by 2 1/2 weeks. We spent one of the evenings before new years in the ER. SuperChic was 6 weeks old, running a fever, and not keeping anything down. We definitely did not stay up to midnight that year.

I’ve spent many nights up well past midnight, but in the last 11 years I think most new years I was in bed by ten. Yep, ten, I’m just a party animal.

You know what, I guess there are a few things I want to do in the new year, but they’re not resolutions. They’re things I work on everyday. Some days I may fall a little (or a lot) short, but everyday I try and that’s all that counts.

I want to be the best Mom to my girls as I can be. I want to be the best wife to my Husband I can be. I want to be the best daughter and DIL I can be. I want to be the best sister and SIL I can be. I want to be the best friend I can be. I want to be the best granddaughter, the best niece, and the best Auntie I can be.

If I accomplish all those things. I think I’ll be happy.

It’s been one of those days.

You know the kind.

Where it starts off bad and just seems to get worse and worse and worse. Then, just when you think it can’t get any worse. BAM!!!! Something else happens.

Well that was my day today.

It started off with the girls not listening, not helping, and just plain getting under my skin.

Then, we stopped at a McDonald’s that’s right by the freeway on the way out of town, we were driving the guys to their truck that was worked on while they were off. They have a wonky drive-thru that was blocked by someone coming from the other direction trying to get into it. So, we figured, heh, we’ll just go inside and order it to go. Forty minutes later I walked out the door with cold chicken, cold french fries, and no cheese on my sandwiches. FORTY MINUTES people, for a to-go order, and they still screwed it up. I told her to give me the cheese in a wrapper and I was gone like the wind. Well, until we hit traffic.

We make it to where we are going safe and sound. Load the guys stuff into the truck, get our hugs and kisses and we hit the road again. This time we only went as far as the mall. Lucky for us the mall was mostly empty. We walked around a bit. Looked for a top for me. No one had anything that I was actually willing to buy. I guess I’m stuck with stretched out/holey/stained shirts for a while longer.

Sue took the girls into the candy store and let them each get about $1.50 worth of candy for being so good, and they were good. The whining and fighting was almost non-existent. By the time we got back to the car we were all feeling a little worn out and hungry. We drove home as quickly and safely we could, but with going home traffic, it wasn’t always very quick.

We get to Sue’s and while the girls are going potty I check my email and read SAJ’s latest post. I grab a couple of cookies because mentally I had hit the wall and I was hoping a little sugar would help. I realized I was getting more and more tired by the second (should have been first clue) so I loaded the girls into the truck as quickly as I could. We all get buckled in and I put the truck in reverse.

I realize as I’m backing up that I can’t see the wall very well. It’s only knee-height, it’s dark outside, and there is pretty much no moonlight (second clue). At the end of the driveway is a mailbox (surprise jk), with only a few inches between it and the driveway. This driveway is difficult to back out of when parked in the middle of the driveway during the day, and I was parked to the side at night (third clue).

As I’m thinking to myself that I can’t really tell how close I am to the mailbox, I realize it’s to late. The side of the truck is touching the mailbox (clue four). Did I mention that this is a brick mailbox? No, well it is. A double one.

Sue realized that I hadn’t left the driveway yet and came out to see what was wrong. I told her that I thought I hit the mailbox. She walks to the back of the truck and motions for me to pull forward. This is the last I can see of her hands (clue five). I pull forward, there seems to be a hang-up for a split second and then I am free of the mailbox. I think, ok, I definitely scratched the truck, but that’s ok.

Did I just scratch the truck?

Nope, because when I do something I do it all the way. I pulled the taillight assembly completely out of the truck. That slight hesitation was the side of the light assembly catching on the mailbox.

Of course, I feel like an idiot, but I didn’t cry. Well, a few leakers, but they don’t count. A few deep breaths and I was ok. Sue goes hunting for the 200mph tape so we can tape it back in so I can drive home. As we’re taping it back in the neighbor asks if we’re ok. I say yep, I just hit the mailbox. As Sue and I are finishing up I say, “well, at least I can tell Shawn I know where the screws are to replace the burnt out bulb.” Yeah, I did. Really.

Sue just laughs and tells me it’s ok, it’s a work truck, and at least that was the one with a broken lens anyways. Let me explain what this means. Someone opened their car door into the truck pretty hard. They apologized over and over, Shawn asked them if they could find the exact scratch that they put in the truck. When driving home from work Shawn was on a steep off-ramp a decent distance away from the car in front of him, she rolled back into him. Her bumper had a nice dent. Dakota was fine. (The truck is a Dodge Dakota, so the girls call her Dakota, she is also Clifford’s wife.) When Shawn told Sue she said, “it’s paid for.”

Yeah. Dakota has had her fair share of bumps and bruises, but I can show you exactly which ones I put on her.

So, we check the mailbox. A few of the bricks have broken corners, but if we brush off the red paint, you’d never notice. I hop back in the truck, convince the girls I’m ok to drive and we head home.

This is where the really stupid part begins. I know that the gas light has come on. I should have enough gas to get home and up to the local Chevron in the morning, so I don’t stop at the Arco. I make it across town with no problems.

I stop at the red light in front of the Chevron and say, “I should have gotten gas at the Arco, it’s eight cents cheaper.” The light turns green, I pull across the intersection, and all of a sudden it feels like something has come loose in the engine compartment or is stuck in the wheel well. I pull into the center divider. No matter what I do the truck won’t go. I am within sight of both the gas station and home.

I get the girls out of the truck, we walk to the gas station. I ask if they have gas cans (insert sign here), call Sue, buy the gas can, and get gas. A guy and his wife ask if we want a ride back to the truck. I say no thanks, it’s just on the other side of the intersection. He says, “are you sure? I’d hate for anything to happen to the girls.” We load into his backseat, drive across the intersection, he tells the girls to stay in his truck while he puts the gas in the truck for me. He waits to make sure the truck will drive, waits until we are all in and buckled, and then goes on his way.

Recap:

1.) I knew I was hitting the wall, instead of driving home I should have stayed at Sue’s. The puppy would have survived over night outside with the other dogs.

2.) Was too dark to see well. I should have had Sue come out to spot me.

3.) See two above.

4.) I should have parked the truck and tried again in the morning.

5.) When you can’t see your spotter. STOP

I’m still not sure if running out of gas was the only problem, but now I know that when the gas light comes on, head to the nearest gas station.

! think my new motto will be “have gas can, will travel.”