SuperChic is learning to swim. I know, she’s 7, but we don’t really have a lot of access to a pool regularly, and can never seem to afford classes when they start making reservations for them. So instead every Summer we hang out with Great-Grandma and learn a little more.

So far this one lesson was the best ever. SuperChic decided that it was okay to put her face in the water, a major step for her. We’ve been working on that one thing for forever. This lesson she practiced some basic water safety, which we always practice at the beginning of each lesson. But, what really made te differnce was getting her to use me like a step/wall and push off of me to swim to the stairs.

Was it a perfect stroke? No.

Was it a perfect kick? No.

Did her face go under? A little.

Did her feet touch the bottom of the pool? No.

I am so proud of her. This is a big deal in our family. Shawn’s Grandma used to teach the Marines to swim, so her teaching the girls means a lot to me.

Thanks Grandma, we love you.

The other big news is that Rapunzel can swim across the pool and back without stopping. This means she should be able to pass the swimming test at Camp Lassen and won’t have to stay in the shallows!

Well so far I seem to be doing okay today, even though by the time I finish writing this it will technically be tomorrow. Unless of course I type like Speedy Gonzales and get this done before midnight. Which is really, really unlikely considering I feel like his cousin, Slow Poke Rodriguez.

Today was a better day if only for the reason that it was so crammed full of stuff to do that I didn’t have time to think let alone have a minute to be sad about anything.

My day started at the crack of dawn, literally. Though I really shouldn’t complain, because with SAJ and Bug here I could have just as easily been woken up at 4:15am. For some reason my adorable little niece gets up earlier and earlier. We figured no nap and a later bedtime would help her sleep in, but no, of course not. Poor Brenda kept her quiet in the bedroom with Rapunzel asleep next to her so the rest of us could sleep. While it wasn’t necessary, it was appreciated.

While Rapunzel got ready for school, I laid on the couch listening and watching all that was going on around me. I even got to watch the sky change colors as the sun rose. If I had been a little more motivated I would have made the coffee, grabbed a blanket and my knitting, and headed outside to knit and watch the sunrise. But me and motivated are not words you are going to see in the same sentence. Well, not unless they have the word “not” between them.

I guess there is one advantage of being up before the sun, the sunrise. I miss the sunrise. I miss the feeling of wonderment that comes with the dawning of each new day. It’s been so long since I’ve really seen a sunrise. I’m pretty sure the last one was when we lived in Illinois. It was so long ago that I can’t even remember what it was like.

Watching the sunrise, well, what I could see of it through the dining room window anyways, left me feeling a little melancholy. It was great to watch the colors change and watch the day grow brighter and brighter, but the feeling of wonderment just wasn’t there. I still thought it was beautiful, but the feeling of a new day with so much that could be done just wasn’t there. It really sucked.

I am literally having to force myself to get up and moving by 8am. And I mean force as in if I sit down somewhere even remotely comfortable, like on the floor, I am asleep in about two minutes. And since I only have the chairs at my kitchen table, one which resides at my computer when Shawn isn’t home, two bean bag chairs, two hedgehogs, and no couch, you can guess where I spend most of my time, on the floor.

Wanna watch a movie, have a seat over…..well, anyplace really. Just don’t expect me to stay awake. Poor SuperChic fends for herself most mornings. Rapunzel is self-sufficient and doesn’t need help most of the time, but sometimes when she leaves SuperChic is awake, and they don’t wake me up. I get out of bed to check on her and she’s dressed and had breakfast. When I ask her why she didn’t wake me up, she tells me I needed the sleep. She doesn’t get that whether I need the sleep or not, I’m the Mom and I’m supposed to take care of her, not the other way around.

Hopefully, in the next two weeks I’ll start to feel like I’m taking care of my kids and not that they’re taking care of me.

Anyways, this entire post was basically supposed to say that I’m on the meds, um, I meant mend. I’m trying to get used to the meds and I’m praying that they’ll work and that when they do maybe everything will be a little brighter.

I really don’t want to walk around all day looking dopey and saying that everything’s great all the time. I just want to be able to say I’m okay and really mean it.