I was sent this by SAJ. Any woman in the world can relate to at least one part or another. And if they say they can’t they’re lying.
I found it all so funny, because it’s true. Do you wanna know how true? No. Well to bad, because I’m gonna tell you anyways.
Shawn and I have been battling my libido, or should I say my lack of one since I went on Depo-Provera after Rapunzel was born. It has cost us many frustrated nights, and days. Which leads to conversations with his parents and his sister. And their opinions on what they think we should try to do to remedy it.
The first step was going to the doctor. I asked lots of questions, was poked and prodded and sent for two different types of ultrasounds. Went back and asked more questions.
- Q: Why do I have so much pain.?
- A: My cervix is very low due to being pregnant six times. So he hits it.
- Q: Is there anything I can do to pump up my libido.
- A: No, I’m to young.
- Q: I already had my tubes tied a few years ago. Can I have a partial hysterectomy to reduce the horrible periods, and maybe fix my cervix while they’re at it? Or better yet can we just take it out since I really don’t need it anymore?
- A: No. You’re to young and there’s no reason to perform an unnecessary surgery.
Do you see where this is going? It’s been a whole year and I still don’t have a solution.
It’s so bad that last year Shawn actually thought I was having an affair. I’ve straightened him out about that. A few, well quite a bit more than a few, jabs to the arm and chest, and he realized his mistake. If I don’t want to have sex with him I don’t know what made him think I wanted to have it with anyone else.
Because honestly I don’t want to have sex, or think about sex, or talk about sex with anyone. Once every two or three weeks was fine by me. Which is probably why it’s such an issue lately again still. It’s so bad that at the ages of almost 29, and 33, and only 10 1/2 years of marriage we now have a schedule.
Yep, pencil me in baby.
The schedule idea was suggested by his Dad. I was thinking something along the lines of every three days. Shawn suggested every other day. Can you guess who won? Did you guess me? Well, you’re wrong.
Shawn won and I can’t take it. Every other day is no fun. I feel like a blow up doll. It doesn’t matter what he tries, nothing actually works.
I’m to the point that if it hurts I just cause pain somewhere else to drown out the pain down there. You know what I’m talking about. The old “oh, your finger hurts, here I’ll step on your toe and then you won’t feel your finger anymore.” I do this by pulling my hair, pinching myself,making a fist and gouging myself with my nails, or even biting the inside of my lip or cheek.
Shawn does not approve and gets upset every time he finds out. I can usually do pretty well at hiding it from him though. He wants me to tell him and he’ll stop, but then we’re back at square one. He’s frustrated and we’re still no closer to a solution.
So for now this is what I’ll do to keep him happy. And it works, I think.
And yes, I really did ask my doctor those questions.
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